58. Rapscallion

(Spectrum, Bug-Byte, 1984)
Rapscallion is one of the most surreal games Ive ever come across and was released for the Spectrum by budget company Bug-Byte software. In Rapscallion you play, well, "You" I guess. "You" are the owner of Hassle Castle, but Rapscallion the Rogue has stolen your crown and had you thrown into the dungeon, your own dungeon. What a dick.

Help is at hand, your friend the fairy princess (I didn't write this, guys) turns you into a bird that can turn into a fly that can turn into a ghost at the cost of a life.
Still with me? As this human/bird/ghost/fly hybrid you must traverse though a series of rooms laid out maze style and gather a selection of magical items that will allow you to confront Rapscallion and reclaim your place as the ruler of Hassle Castle. There are many perils and pitfalls, some which are harmful to you as a bird and some as a fly. However, something that could kill the fly might just speed the bird up or vice versa. You can change between the creatures willingly but if you are killed you become the ghost and must find a magic pixie to reincarnate you. If you get lost, magic crystals guide the way. You also have to aquire an invisible key, Oh, and you have to find three angry wizards and touch them while they're sleeping.

Oh, to be an 80's game developer

Rapscallion is the oldest of old school, with huge, blocky, teletext graphics and simple, bleepy, sound effects. The player whizzes through the various rooms avoiding a variety of spiders, frogs, cars, fish, riflemen and everything else the game's tripped out haze can throw at you. If you eventually defeat Rapscallion then you are presented with a title deed to the castle that you can add your name to, then you can save that title deed to a cassette to reload and view anytime.
Rapscallion is beyond review, it's more an oddity, something that should be played just so you can experience it. It's simple, straightforward, fast moving and is over before it's barely begun. Conceptually, it's the videogame equivalent of a Grimm brothers tale, it's simply imagination run wild.
One day, Gina Gershon's gonna break down outside my house, when I invite her in and load up my Rapscallion title deed, Boy, am I in for some well deserved lovin'