22/12/2009

57. Gals Panic


(Arcade, Kaneko, 1990)
Japan likes women. Lots. No problem with that, I do too, but Japan's attitude is often at best questionable and at worst sickening. I have visited stores in Shinjuku and watched rich businessmen honorably exchange business cards and bow to each before queuing up to buy torture mags. Shops sell videogames where you can rape schoolgirls and there are entire TV shows fixated on the panties of Jailbait. I know of few other countries that have signs in trains casually warning girls not to get molested. Ive seen enough of Japan with my own eyes, from their culture, TV, music scene, film and advertising to know that whilst the whole world, myself included, is guilty of exploiting women in some form, Japan is the heavyweight champion.

Anyone with a complete MAME set will be fully aware of girly based games, the full set is literally brimming with variants of Mahjong, Shogi, Pachinko and the like spiced up with some big titted anime girl cheering you on and crying if you don't continue. Gals Panic is a long running series that, despite it's simplicity, has a convoluted legacy.
Essentially clones of the awesome "Qix" the Gals Panic games have you controlling a small dot and venturing out onto a playing field, drawing a line around the silhouette of a girl in a suggestive pose, as you complete these lined sections, the picture is slowly uncovered. Various monsters, traps and blocks hinder your progress and power-ups for speed and shields can be collected. Once the picture is unveiled, you get to do it all again, this time the girl will be wearing less clothing. This continues until she's completely naked in all her square boobs glory.
Hilariously, if you take too long the background picture changes to a decidedly unsexy octopus or sheep (Well, unsexy unless you love octupi)
There are plenty of these games and at one point the series splits into two. As with many "classic updates" of games, the sequels get progressively louder and flashier, with better enemies, neon lines, explosions, flashy effects, new power-ups etc. For what is a very straightforward series the depth of change these games have gone through is astounding. There are versions based on real photos and versions with Hentai, some which have orgasm cries as you uncover sections, some which are censored and uncensored, bonus rounds, co-op play, the list goes on and on.

I think Qix is a great game, so I think the Gals Panic games are great, they often have cool music and are hopelessly addictive, like all classic arcades should be. There have been various games in the series since 1990 and many copycats too. It appears that as long as men find pretend women attractive, there will always be a bang up to date way to draw lines across their silhouetted poses in an effort to see some blocky areolas.
By that logic, this is a future-proof genre that will roll until the end of time.

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