"What's The Password?"

-"What's the password?...what's the password?...Alrighty"-
(Vince McMahon, WWE Raw, 2008)
Can you imagine being so rich that you could afford to give away huge amounts of cash? Can you imagine watching your favourite TV show and by the end of it being a quarter of a million dollars richer? Now, to me that sounds like pretty exciting stuff, talk about sweaty anticipation, right? Now, can you imagine said event being one of the most mind-numbingly slow and tedious experiences of your life?
If you said "Yes" then you have not managed to erase "McMahon's Million Dollar Mania" from your mind and I share your pain.

Post-Wrestlemania, the WWE goes into a ratings dip, the excitement of the previous years programming reaches its conclusion and many fans take a time-out from watching wrestling, or simply get turned off by the new direction WWE maybe be taking its stars in the aftermath of its superbowl equivalent. Despite this happening pretty much every year, WWE often panic and throw a whole load of panic ideas at the wall in an effort to keep the fans tuned in.
But non of these zany ideas were more surreal than "McMahon's Million Dollar Mania" which was simultaneously obnoxiously nauseating and car crash addictive. Vince McMahon made an announcement that every week on WWE RAW he would give away one million dollars "of his own money" to randomly selected viewers, provided they register on WWE.com and quoted a password should he call them live on the air during the following weeks episode of RAW. McMahon would then show off his dick size by awarding the caller a random amount of money.
Yes, you read correctly, Vince McMahon was paying the audience to watch RAW.

So, week one of Million Dollar Mania began and WWE fans sat on their edge of their seat with excitement (well, providing they lived in the USA and had bothered to register)
What basically followed was a series of long, awkward and drawn out segments where Vince stood on the arena ramp and failed to call contestants. McMahon would call number after number, sometimes the call wouldn't connect, wouldn't be answered, would get cut off etc, occasionally when the moon and stars aligned and McMahon got through to the lucky player there would be awkward pauses and bad sound. Despite the game only having one rule, Vince would often forget to ask for the password and would have to correct himself afterwards. The only truly glorious moment was when McMahon got Rick Roll'd by an answerphone, the confusion on his face was incredible.

Somewhere amongst this abortion, a selection of lucky viewers made sums of money around the 25,000-250,000 dollar mark, apart from one woman who only got two dollars because Vince was feeling like a prick. These segments went on and on and ate heavily into the shows running time which could have been dedicated to something really insane like some pro-wrestling matches.
The weirdest part of this whole debacle is that I personally think McMahon is generally awesome in his on-camera role, he has a distinctive voice and a very natural arrogance that fans love to hate, but here he just seemed bored and confused, pretty much the way I felt watching it at home.

McMahon's Million Dollar Mania ran for three decades, or it may have been three weeks, I'm not sure but they sure felt about the same length. At the end of the final giveaway, some wacky explosions happened and the RAW set "fell" on Vince McMahon, this stunt-fest lead to a storyline where, actually, come to think of it, it didn't lead to anything.
All that mattered was Vince didn't have to spend forever calling people on his show to give away his money, something that made both of us very happy indeed.

Here is a video that captures the banality of this competition in just five minutes. If you can't get through this clip without getting bored, remember that is the competition in its EDITED form:

"..What I Think Of The WWF Women's Championship Belt"

-"And that's what I think of the WWF women's championship belt."-
(Madusa, WCW Nitro, 1995)
Over the course of this project, many incidents will appear that are a part of a time period in Pro-wrestling that is today known as "The Monday Night Wars"
During the late 90's, WWF and rival promotion WCW would go head to head every Monday night with their flagship TV show, fighting to wrench the viewers from the other channel. It was an insanely aggressive battle as both companies reached deep into its bag of dirty tricks to undermine and mudsling the other.

Madusa Miceli had been on the wrestling circuit since the mid-80s and built a name for herself in Japan as a top female competitor. By the early 90s Madusa had reached an international platform in WCW in her role as a badass bitch. Madusa was popular with the fans and her charisma and natural ability convinced the WWF to come calling, persuading her to join the McMahon family in 1993. The WWF re-instated its retired Women's Championship belt and handed it to Madusa, who was also re-named "Alundra Blayze"
Despite some great matches with Japanese legend Bull Nakano, there was very little for Madusa to do in the WWF, whose womens division was lacking in competitors and prestige (Today, the division has competitors that can't wrestle and all the prestige of a two dollar hooker)

So, a mere two years later, the business was going through some changes, Eric Bischoff, president of WCW, made an all out, balls to the wall effort to take WCW to the top of the business. Deciding that one of the best tools at his disposal was shock and the element of surprise, Bischoff formulated a scheme to undermine the WWF as the "lesser company" that no-one wanted to work for, and Madusa would prove to be the first example of many Bischoff would go on to use to this end.

One night, on a airing of WCW Monday Nitro, the announce team were doing their horrible schtick when Madusa appeared on the set, grabbing a mic and telling the team to cram it. Madusa faced the camera, denounced she was ever anyone else but "Madusa" and threw the WWF's women's championship belt (which she still had in her possession) into a waste paper bin. This was a ridiculously shocking and cutting edge event at the time. Despite the belt's less than stellar reputation, the idea of a champion from one company turning up to the other with the championship and basically saying on live TV "This belt doesn't mean crap to me" is a heavy blow for the company on the receiving end and a huge coup for the company exploiting it. The audience was unaware that Madusa had any intention of leaving the WWF, but Bischoff had convinced her to jump ship and bring the belt with her, so he could stage the belt trashing event as a symbol that even the WWF's very own champions couldn't stand working for Vince McMahon.

Madusa would continue to wrestle for WCW until the company was bought out in 2001 and she retired soon after, claiming that she was unhappy with the direction of women's wrestling in the States. Rightly so, as despite some very talented exceptions, the WWE have ensured that women's wrestling has a reputation for uninterested, fat breasted twigs having horrible "matches" in front of uncaring audiences.
Madusa trashing the WWF Women's Championship on WCW was one of the first shots in a war of words and ratings that would last many years and would involve events that would go down in Pro-wrestling infamy.

"Just When They Think They Got The Answers.."

-"Just when they think they got the answers, I change the questions."-
("Rowdy" Roddy Piper, Piper's Pit, 1984)
"Rowdy" Roddy Piper is a legendary name in professional wrestling. The Canadian-born Roderick Toombs made a career for himself playing a wild-eyed Scotsman with loud, arrogant interviews and a string of feuds with some of pro-wrestling's finest heroes, such as Hulk Hogan and Bret "Hitman" Hart.

Piper's interview style and charismatic, fearless work on the microphone earned him his own pseudo "Talk show" segment on WWF television. Known as "Piper's Pit" Roddy would sit in a nasty, three-walled set and interview various "good guys" usually mocking their answers and goading them on with his trademark fast-paced, witty comeback style. More often than not, this segment would be used to further feuds between wrestlers or start a feud between Piper and the star "lucky" enough to be invited on the Pit as a guest/victim of Piper's insults and barbs.

Piper's Pit was the scene of many legendary moments, Piper's berating and assaulting of journeyman Frank Williams (Which ended with Piper spitting the above quote to camera) Andre the Giant turning on his long-time friend Hulk Hogan, A verbal argument between Piper and Mr T. and, most infamously, Piper's violent, coconut assisted attack on "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka, an event that has gone down in pro-wrestling history.

Piper was at his best as the antagonist, and Piper's Pit allowed him to turn his volume to eleven. A truly despicable bad guy, Piper was able to use the interview segment given to him to raise the profile of wrestling feuds and storylines, either his own or by playing ringmaster to others.
Maybe it's a coincidence, but Piper, throughout his career, appeared to do some of his most despicable mic work when his opponent was of any ethnicity other than white. There's a world of Piper fans out there and I'm not trying to encourage their wrath, but fact is, even when Piper later became a face (good guy) announcer, very rarely would wrestlers of Mexican, Italian or other background be allowed to get by without some racial epithet being snuck into the commentary. Piper was good at everything he did on the mic, but his particular expertise seemed to be the field of racism. Piper once had the most surreal feud with African-American Bad News Brown, but that's a story for another day...

After Piper's first retirement ("Retirement" means nothing in wrestling) Various attempts were made to replace Piper's Pit with different interview segments featuring other stars and their gimmicks, but none of them featured the same level of energy and chaos that Piper brought to each and every one of his appearances.
Piper's Pit has made sporadic returns over the last ten years, with the now (much more rotund) Piper hosting interviews with the stars of today. Lightning rarely strikes twice though and many of these modern instances of the famous segment don't cut it.

Roddy Piper was one of the very best bad-guys in the history of the business. Piper's microphone style was such that he could not only raise and lower the public perception of himself, but also of anyone else that took the seat in his flimsy cardboard studio.

"For Those I Deeply Offended.. I Apologise."

-"So I choose to respect your privacy and your religious beliefs, and for those I deeply offended.. I apologise"-
(Raven, ECW Arena, 1996)
Extreme Championship Wrestling (ECW) was a small promotion running out of Philidelphia. ECW has a long and storied history, far too involved to discuss here, but it was basically a small scale, low budget wrestling promotion that managed to make a huge name for itself and compete somewhat with multi-million dollar rivals WWF and WCW. It built this reputation with a combination of truly incredible wrestling matches, showcasing some of the best workers in the world, mixed with wild brawls featuring untold levels of violence.

Raven was one of ECW's most iconic wrestlers, essentially a moody loner doing a grunge style gimmick, Raven was a trashy guy with no morals and would cut dark, grim interviews with a style reminiscent of a cult leader. Once in the ring, Raven would attack his opponents with an ugly, vicious, fast-paced brawling style. While not the most technical wrestler around, Raven made a legacy for himself by always performing at his best for the fans and soon became the poster boy bad-guy for ECW. Raven embodied the spirit that ECW presented to its audience.

Another such worker was The Sandman. Simply put, Sandman was a legit drunk guy who could barely wrestle but won the crowd over with his insatiable appetite for carnage, extreme violence and drinking, often popping beers and cigarettes mid-match. The Sandman is HORRIBLE to watch in the ring, but his dirty zubaz trousers, iconic entrance routine and penchant for drunken mayhem made him a solid fan favourite.

In 1996 a feud began between The Sandman and Raven, Raven started "dating" Sandman's ex-wife Lori and along with Lori came Tyler, Sandman's son, who was about eight at the time. Raven encouraged the boy to hate on his father for being a drunken thug and used his "cult-esque" mind games to poison Sandman's family against him.
During a taping at the ECW arena in 1996, after Sandman had taken a beatdown in the ring, Raven and his cohorts "crucified" him by tying him to a badly made wooden cross and forcing a crown of barb-wire into his head. Sandman hung awkwardly propped to this crucifix in front of the ring, whilst his eight year old son looked on, performing Raven's trademark pose. The usually raucous and loud ECW fans went deathly silent, a sign that for them, things may have gone a little to far.

Not long after Sandman was carried to the back, Promoter Paul Heyman sent Raven out to the ring again. Dressed in his street clothes, Raven took the microphone and delivered what is referred to as the "Sincerely Insincere" apology. Raven told the fans that the crucifixion was all his idea, the promoters had no hand in it and that he was sorry for what he had done. The look in his eyes and tone in his voice completely belying his words.
Kurt Angle, who had recently won gold wrestling in the Olympics was in the arena that night, brought in by Paul Heyman to potentially work with company. Angle was furious at the crucifixion and went off on Heyman. The general belief is that the apology order and denial by Heyman was a result of wanting to keep Angle interested in working with the promotion.

WWF would do a similar angle with The Undertaker a few years later and receive a billion complaints about it. It's funny, wrestling fans will sit, cheer on the violence, scream obscenities, call for weapons, sing sexist chants and encourage the bad guys to win, but every now and then, they will then decide that they're oh so offended by something they see.
The problem with pro-wrestling content is it's all or nothing. In my opinion, you can either be offended by it all or offended by none. It smacks of hypocrisy of the highest order to say "I'll cheer this women getting put through a table but how dare you do that crucifixion scene"

The only thing that offends me about pro-wrestling is idiotic booking and a lack of respect for the audience by the promotion. I learnt to ignore the cheap shock tactics a long, long time ago.

"..Does 'Dis Fella Weigh?"

-"How much does 'dis fella weigh?"-
(Art Donovan, WWF King Of The Ring 1994)
One of the single most important jobs in pro-wrestling is commentary. As a commentator, it is your job to narrate the action, directing the viewers eyes toward certain events, reminding them of how the match came about and encouraging sympathy or anger from the viewer toward a particular wrestler and his attitude.
The announcer is the storyteller and the star-maker and it is essential that he uses his voice and vocabulary range to provoke the desired response from the home audience.

It is a truly lost art, many of today's commentators do not have what it takes, I recently watched the interminable team of Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and Matt Striker stumble their way through Wrestlemania XXVI showing shallow bias, weak emotion and a complete misunderstanding of psychology. Seriously, they were awful. Current pro-wrestling commentary causes the late, great commentator Gordon Solie to turn in his grave. The only man to reach Solie's level, Jim Ross, has been MIA for a while now. It looks as if one of the single most important aspects of pro-wrestling storytelling is long gone, at least from the West.

Vince McMahon has, from time to time, put the headsets on special guests, bringing in celebrities and the like to sit alongside his team and provide insights on the action. It is understandable that to these guests the action playing out in front of them is baffling and difficult to follow, so mostly they stay fairly quiet and follow the lead of the in-house commentary team.

But not Art Donovan, Oh no. Art Donovan will be forever remembered as the number one reason why a celebrity should rarely, if ever, be placed at the all important ringside table.
WWF's King of The Ring 1994 Pay-per-view emanated out of Baltimore, so Vince roped in local football hero Art Donovan to give the commentary some "Home town" appeal. Donovan, however, had no knowledge or interest in pro-wrestling and had clearly not been briefed on anything prior to the show regarding workers, storylines or, God forbid, what "pro-wrestling" was.

So, the live show began and, beside the team of veteran announcer Gorilla Monsoon and veteran nutcase Randy Savage, Donovan proceeds to consistantly and thoroughly hit the airwaves with a vast line of constant questions and surreal observations to the faux-fights that were happening before his puzzled expression..
"How much does 'dis fella weigh?" "Who's 'dis guy?" "Did dat really hurt 'im?" "Who's dat guy over dere? "What's she screaming about?" "Can he really kick 'im wid his feet?" "How much does 'dis fella weigh?" "HOW MUCH DOES 'DIS FELLA WEIGH?" "Who's der fella in der white over dere?" "I fink dat guy's dead!!" "Who's dat guy again?" "Is he gonna wrestle wiv dat stuff on?"

Donovan continued this way for the entire three hours of the show. Asking the same questions over and over and not even learning from the answers, he would ask a wrestler's name after repeatedly hearing it mentioned, then would ask it again two minutes later.
It had the exact same effect as when your mum comes in halfway through a film you're watching and constantly asks you random questions about the plot, except she's being paid for it and is doing it in front of an international home audience live on TV.

Art Donovan's commentary is the stuff of legend and whilst it was rage-inducing at the time, today it is hilariously funny and a plus point on what is essentially a fairly dull show. Play-by-play in any sport is incredibly difficult and takes years of practice and on the job experience to raise to a level where your abilities can make superstars out of so-so performers.
In a perfect world, the headset should never be donned by anyone who isn't capable of perfectly capturing the action and story for those at home, but in the wacky world of pro-wrestling, having a moron on the mic can sometimes be just one more guilty pleasure to facepalm over.

"Time To Man-Up"

(Catchphrase, The Briscoe Brothers, Ring Of Honor)
Pro-wrestling has transformed dramatically in the last ten years or so. A new breed of young wrestlers on the independent circuit have developed a new style, mixing the brutality and high risk of the East with the character and theatre of the West. Ring Of Honor (ROH) is a promotion that has showcased this style to the masses. A borderline suicidal mix of hard strikes and overly choreographed, incredibly dangerous maneuvers that showcase the lengths these young men and women will go to prove the worth of their sport and the passion they are willing to live, breath and die for providing entertainment to the fans and displaying their love of their craft.

The Briscoes are perfect examples of this new wave of pro-wrestlers, Jay and Mark are two Delaware born brothers in their mid-twenties who wow the audience with complicated moves and fast paced, hard hitting action that defies both physics and death itself.
Wrestling since the start of the last decade, The Briscoes built a reputation for themselves in various independent promotions, but have made their biggest mark on the business mainly through Ring Of Honor, where they have developed a personal link with the fans that goes beyond any shallow hero worship and into deep respect.

The Briscoes wrestling style cannot be really described due to its complexity. Essentially, it combines vicious martial art strikes and kicks with perfectly timed two and three man combination holds that, should they be mis-communicated, would result in dangerous and possibly fatal injury. This style has garnered the brothers huge popularity throughout the world, including Japan where their intricate double-team moves wow the Eastern crowds.

I should make it clear that I don't care one bit for that style of wrestling, I think it is overly dangerous, unnecessarily violent and leads to the shortening of men's careers and lives. I grew up watching pro-wrestlers entertain crowds of thousands with simple moves combined with body language and emotional psychology. Hulk Hogan, for example, would bring an arena to its feet by cupping his hand to his ear and performing a basic legdrop as opposed to landing on his head repeatedly for the approval of a few hundred fans on the independent circuit.

I am not jaded enough however, to be unaware that that was thirty years ago and that the business has changed since then. Whilst the ROH style of wrestling isn't for me (and that's purely fearing for the lives and spines of the men performing it) I can't deny that, like any good stunts, it is impossible not to appreciate the athleticism, technical ability and trust that these wrestlers have and put on the line for their devoted and die-hard fanbase.

The Briscoes are poster boys for a style of wrestling that I honestly wish hadn't been invented, but they are masters of their craft and of both the old and new aspects of the pseudo-sport.
I do not deny the Briscoes their talent, heart, drive, passion and masterful skills.
I just hope they can still walk ten years from now.

"Problem With The Rockers?"

-"Is there a problem with The Rockers?... I don't think so."-
(Shawn Michaels, The Barber Shop, 1992)
Wham! were a hugely successful pop act, George Michael and Andrew Ridgely had huge success throughout the 80s. Eventually, however, one member of the team outgrew the other and before you knew it, there was a split. George Michael went on to international superstardom and phenomenal success, Ridgely went his own way and slowly drifted into obscurity.

The crazy parallel here is that legendary tag-team "The Rockers" have exactly the same story. Seriously you could just use the above paragraph but change the names to Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty and it all still stands (Well, apart from the pop act bit)
The Rockers were a pioneering tag-team in the 80s, two pretty-boy good guys who wooed the ladies and dropped the opposition with innovative high flying maneuvers and risky, sometimes death defying stunts. They eventually made their way to the WWF where the quickly established themselves as fan favourites with their fruity outfits and sexy mullets.

Shawn Michaels, the younger of the two Rockers, was hungry for more, both on camera and off. In his book, he describes the time he made the decision to become THE man in pro-wrestling and after a short, ass-kissing meeting with Vince McMahon, he got his wish.
A storyline began where Michaels was growing tired of sharing the spotlight with Janetty and that his party and girls fuelled lifestyle was costing the team its integrity. As a last ditch effort to save the long travelled partnership, Jannetty called Michaels out on the WWF's abortionate interview segment "The Barber Shop" hosted by the dreadful Brutus Beefcake.

Jannetty and a super smug Michaels argued briefly before Jannetty gave Michaels an ultimatum: Walk away now and do your own thing, or shake his head and get back to business. The crowd cheered Michaels to go back to his likeable, trusting tag partner and, after pondering the situation, Michaels grabbed Jannetty by the hand then raised his arm as the crowd roared its approval.

It was time for George Michael to release "Careless Whisper"

Out of nowhere, Michaels blasted Jannetty in the face with his trademark superkick and the shocked crowd started raining boos down on him. Grabbing Jannetty by the hair, Michaels thrust him face-first through the window of the Barber Shop set, which was, at the time, an incredibly violent scene by the WWF's standards. Jannetty bladed and came back a bloody mess.

Michaels turned to the camera and, stating the above quote, tore a picture of The Rockers in half, walking off set to howling derision from the audience.
The rest is history, Shawn Michaels took his sexy boy, super arrogant, smug-bastard character to the bank and began to work on his legacy, becoming what many people believe to be the finest pro-wrestling performer of all time.
I would write more about his future endeavours, but when it comes to Shawn Michaels, this is the first appearance of many he is due to make in this list, having been controversially involved in almost every major incident in pro-wrestling, both on and off screen.

The Barber Shop was a damn terrible WWF segment, but it gave birth to one of the absolute best performers the business would ever see.

"Just Hurting All The Time"

(Terry Funk's Doctor, Beyond The Mat, 1999)
For the uninitiated, Beyond The Mat is an awesome documentary film by Barry Blaustein. Released at the height of pro-wrestling's boom in the very late 90's, the film presents the behind the scenes of the business in a respectful and intelligent manner. It is not just a great documentary about wrestling, it is a great piece of documentary film-making in general. I would encourage everyone to check it out, wrestling fan or not. Whilst some of the aspects of the business shown are outdated today, depressingly, all the negative elements of pro-wrestling it reveals are still relevant and probably always will be.

Terry Funk is a legendary Texan wrestler who has consistently performed for decades, selling out arenas in the U.S and Japan for generations of wrestling fans. Terry Funk's legacy transcends the business and his achievements are etched in the annals of time. This legacy however, comes at a painful price.

One section of Beyond The Mat follows Funk as he approaches one of his many "retirements" A very short scene shows Funk visiting his doctor who has some very sad words for him.
The doctor essentially tells Terry how he's knees are doing, his descriptions would be incredibly shocking for you or I to hear but Funk, a man who has been in the business since forever, takes the information on board and gets back to work.

-Doctor: "On your good knee, your left knee, you have moderate to severe degenerative arthritis. You don't have good joint space here, you have narrowing of the space..arthritic spicules in there and it's not going to function very well,. It ought to be able to get by, the rest of your life just hurting all the time.
On your bad knee, your right knee, you have NO joint space, you have severe degenerative arthritis, you have worn that knee out, it's been hurt too many times and you are gonna need a new knee.
You need a new knee NOW."

-Funk: "..If I don't have an operation..Can I go ahead and live comfortably.. get around comfortably"

-Doctor: "You shouldn't be able to get around comfortably now. This ought to give you pain chronically, it ought to be disabling to you.... There's not a lot we can do and chronic pain for the next thirty or forty years isn't a fun thing to think about."

To hear a man's anatomy described so destructively is misery-inducing. The idea that his "good knee" has barely any joint left is shocking. What truly makes this scene especially tragic is that anyone knowing Funk would be aware that his concerns are less about his condition, but about whether he can fulfill his future work commitments.

I don't need to write anything else, It's a scene that speaks for itself. A fifty year old man with the legs of a ninety five year old, preparing to step into the ring again despite the consequences. The best case scenario being constant pain in one knee forever and the other needing replacement.
When you're a pro-wrestler, I guess you could just call losing the ability to walk an "occupational hazard"

"Get The "F" Out"

(Slogan, World Wrestling Federation/Entertainment, 2001)
In 1963, a dispute between Vince McMahon Sr. and partner promoters resorted in McMahon opening his own promotion, The World Wide Wrestling Federation (WWWF) McMahon's company traded under this name for over fifteen years, before a cosmetic name change was made, dropping the "Wide" part to make the shorter World Wrestling Federation (WWF)
This name became synonymous with Western professional wrestling throughout the 80's and 90's.

The World Wildlife Fund For Nature (WWF) had used the same initials since it's inception in 1961, but generally the two companies had little to no issues with the fact that the other company shared the same name. In 1994, an agreement was reaced wherein The Wildlife Fund and the Wrestling Federation came to an agreement that McMahon would be allowed to use the WWF initials internationally but limited it's permissibility in certain areas, particularly merchandising.

However, in 2000 the charity believed that the McMahon had violated these terms and filed a lawsuit against the wrestling promotion. In 2001, an English court decided in favour of the Panda pals and, on May 5th of that year, the wrestling federation officially changed its twenty year old trading name to World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE). McMahon changed his companies branding literally overnight, one day they were WWF.com, twenty-four hours later, they were WWE.com.
Using the slogan "Get The "F" Out" WWE did its trademark "re-write history" thing as it blindly punched its audience in the face that the company was now the WWE and had never, ever been called the WWF, ever ever. They even released a T-shirt line with the slogan emblazoned on it.

Without boring you with all the dull law-speak, there are a bizarre mix of rules and loopholes associated with the name change. All merchandise bearing the WWF name had to be taken off shelf by a certain date, meaning a massive discount on all WWF branded merchandise the world over which was a bonanza for collectors. All DVD releases of WWE events before the name change had heavy visual and audio editing to remove any and all references to "WWF" This results in a very horrible viewing experience and has rapidly increased the value of "original" non-edited versions of these events. WrestleMania XVII (arguably the greatest WrestleMania) is rendered nearly unwatchable in its censored form, a mass of blurs and audio cuts. It resembles my vision after I eat cheese (no, really)

The only thing more blurry than WWE DVDs are the loopholes. A rule disallows the audio of anyone saying "WWF" BUT only one visual version of the WWF logo is banned, meaning the company can show this logo on their DVDs if they wish: (1984-1997)

but not this logo: (1997-2001)

As one final freak hypocrisy, the UK DVDs of older events are not censored. An international loophole allows publisher Silvervision to release all past events visually and audibly intact, only U.S distributed DVDs are censored. This has obviously led to a huge market of Stateside wrestling fans importing the UK DVDs in for their collection.

When all is said and done, the company now IS World Wrestling Entertainment and has been for many years now. Personally, I think it was a load of bullshit politics over nothing and although pro-wrestling is not really a business you want your charity to be confused with, I think the whole lawsuit was a hugely unnecessary on the animal-lovers part....

..Well, maybe not "hugely"

"Is That Fake?"

-"What's that? Is that fake? Huh? What the hell's wrong with you? That's a open hand slap, Huh? You think it's fake?"-
("Dr.D" David Schultz, 20/20 Report, 1984)
During the pro-wrestling boom of the 1980's, a million and one investigative reporters launched one-man missions to prove that the in-ring action was less than real, hopefully uncovering the "shocking" truth that pro-wrestling was indeed "fake" with choreographed moves, staged finishes and scripted outcomes.
Perish the thought.

John Stossel, right-on ABC reporter decided that he should join the leagues of men dedicated to telling you what you already know and being the first to do so.
So Stossel made his way to Madison Square Garden with his 20/20 investigative team armed with a microphone and the golden bow of truth. Backstage at the arena, Stossel confronted longtime journeyman "Dr. D" David Schultz and asked him some questions about the business, Schultz towed the company line and delivered some sneery lines about being a tough guy in a business where only the tough survive. Basically, Schultz cut a wrestling interview (as one would expect him to in the days where the business was "protected" from outsiders)

Stossel then ramps his smarmyness up to eleven, pithily mocking Dr. D's response, he then hits him with what he refers to as "The standard questions" Sounding smug as you like, Stossel implies that wrestling is fake, then a small nuclear explosion goes off on the left side of his head.
After being struck to the ground with a super extreme version of a clip round the ear, Stossel makes it back to his feet just in time to receive one for the road to the right side of his head, Stossel, now sans smugness, scurries off into the background and calls his lawyers.

After various apologies, investigations and lawsuits, Stossel walked away with nearly 500,000 dollars in damages and an constant buzzing in his ears. David Schultz walked away with his pink slip, but has continued to claim ever since that he was pre-warned by WWF officials that Stossel would call him on the business, and that he was ordered to slap the piss out of him if he did.
When all is said and done, it's simply an awesome and very funny piece of car crash TV. The Schultz/Stossel incident is an example of the lengths people used to go to in order to keep the secrets of the business under wraps in those pre-Internet times.
Today, the business is fully aware that most of its former "secrets" have become common knowledge and workers are far more likely to "break character" in public, but all of them put their bodies on the line for the people's entertainment and whilst what they do may not be completely legit, that doesn't mean that they don't deserve the media's respect for doing it.

Just ask John Stossel, speak loudly though.