46. Wayne's World

(SNES/MD/Genesis, Radical Entertainment, 1993)
Read through my list (please) and look at some of the beautiful works people have created for your interactive entertainment. These are the results of hard work and dedication of talented and committed people. They put drive, passion and effort into creating something that will bring escapism, joy and pleasure. Works that will last through the ages and be referenced for years to come. These people got paid for their work and are rewarded with successful careers doing what they love.

The people who made Wayne's World got PAID.

Straight for the jugular here as I'm not going to bore thee with details of the movie (which I am fan of, incidentally) Wayne's World was crapped onto consoles amongst the early 90's rage of saying wacky things like "Not!" which was as nauseating as people today saying "How random!" (No, actually it wasn't as annoying) A horribly made platformer, the game follows Wayne Campbell as he searches for Garth who has been taken by something or other. Armed with his guitar, Wayne fails to make his way through each scene, attacking things like drum kits and milkshakes in a series of totally nonsensical and badly designed levels.

In between the levels we get misplaced attempts to capture the feel of the TV show, which features bad digitised stills of the characters reading long monologues that lose any potential humour when displayed as written word. The in-game samples are fuzzy and badly clipped, they are also sampled straight from the movie, as the actors I'm sure were not available to take part in the making of this abortion. Thankfully.
The controls are unresponsive, Wayne's jumping is unreliable and his attacks are slow, leading to much energy loss and repeated shoutings of "NOT!" "NOT! "NOT!" with him finally crying out "NOT WORTHY!" when he runs out of energy. The backgrounds are boring and repetitive and even the basics such as collision detection and difficulty balance have had no work put into them.

There is no reason whatsoever to play this, it's a crime against videogames and against Wayne's World. It's horrifying to think of the undiscovered talent that was struggling to find a place in the industry whilst these fucking cunts got paid to puke this pile of shit onto the shelves.
There's a bigger story here. You see, my rage isn't solely because of Wayne's World itself or with Radical Entertainment, it's just this game reminds me of the forever existing culture of video game companies that pay people to churn out bad games that they are fully aware are terrible, but knowingly release it to "con" gift buying relatives, franchise fans, movie goers or simply naive gamers into parting with their money for a product the company KNOWS isn't worth paying for.

Games that fit that description still exist today, maybe more so, as do the people who make them. Games with misleading titles and box art, bad games based on popular kids franchises, game shows or movies, made lightning fast and rush released, long before they've reached any level of quality control. If you are involved in the making of that type of game then you are a prick. I hope you lose your job and have to give up your house. Stay the fuck away from the industry we love, you are con artists shilling your wares and exploiting unknowing customers in order to make a quick buck, so you can grab the few undeserved sales you can and vanish into the night, leaving your unlucky victims disappointed and out of pocket.

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.