35. Mutant Fighter

(Arcade, Data East, 1991, AKA: Death Brade)
A real oddity here, you have to dig deep for this gem of poo.
Mutant Fighter is a one on one arena fighter from the dawn of the 90's. One or two players pick a warrior from a list of eight mythical creatures and go into battle, either against each other or in co-op, in order to win control of the entire kingdom.
The characters have no names and are instead referred to by race. Such as Werewolf, Minotaur, Dragon, Amazoness and erm.. "Fighter" and "Hercules"
Hercules and Fighter are apparently races.
You know, when I think of mythical beasts of legend battling to the death, two things spring to mind: Pro-wrestling moves and SLAP BASS!!~~

Mutant Fighter is essentially a wrestling game, super clunky characters dawdle about the trap-filled battlegrounds, their strikes constantly ghosting until they lock up in a grapple, after some hard button bashing, one of the two fighters launches into a vertical suplex, piledriver, neckbreaker or whatever. Until you've seen a blonde werewolf hitting a frankensteiner on a five headed snake, you haven't lived.
All this is backed by wacky music, with some of the most dated synth drumming ever committed to the planet. When a fighter finally falls, his carcass his carried off by this little monk dude and his portrait is hilariously replaced by a skull with a bloody sword sticking in it and the word "DEAD" splashed across it.
Seriously, It's like it was designed by a fourteen year old.

The main issue with Mutant Fighter is its insane level of difficulty. The fights begin with some awesomely useful Engrish tips, such as "Danger when he dashes, or is apart." Thanks, now I truly have the upper hand. A true credit eater, Mutant Fighter's controls and attacks are so clunky and useless that grappling is the order of the day. The only problem is, the CPU is really stingy on the grapples and no matter how hard you mash, it will, in most cases, only allow you one move to its three. You also have a "Super Throw" which the computer will allow you to do, but generally only AFTER it has performed its own.
You will get the crap kicked out of you as you play Mutant Fighter. It appears to be part of the programming. At least it sounds ace while doing it, the fighter's even shout hilarious quotes to each other like "I will mash you!" and "Feel the authority of my horn!" (I'm saving that one for my next real-life fight)

People like to argue about which is the most "Hardcore" fighter. Let me tell you something, I played Mutant Fighter whilst on holiday in 1992, I took on a series of opponents who then watched as I battled the computer, hammering the controls in a desperate attempt to make them work for me and my Golem guy. This kid watching suddenly goes "Oh..crap." I look down and the control panel is splashed in blood. In my SUPER THROW~ induced craziness, I had sliced my finger open on the base of the joystick and been playing for the last five minutes with blood pouring down the cabinet.

I know Hardcore. Hardcore is blood and slap bass.